CONFESSIONS

Ever get that feeling where you are not sure what the f*ck is happening around you.. Things don't go the way you expect it to be, yet you hope there will be change that will bring back that fucking smile back on your face.. but there is a catch, the catch is you have to make a choice.. A choice so difficult to make... so difficult to choose.. It’s like a guy who is holding a red pill in his one hand and blue in the other.. You know you want to take the red pill since it will lead you to the end of the road, but you are shit scared. You don't know what to do. You try to get help... try to get some guidance so you can put up with this misery. All the pain and sacrifice you make, you want people to see it and yet you don't want to reveal it, you wrap it so tight but people look at you and say 'What the fuck is wrong with you?', then you start projecting these emotions.. These feelings that you are no longer enjoying this so called fucking thing called Life. You don't want to sound desperate; you don't want people to think you are a psychopath; you just put on the mask which reads 'I’m OK' ... But you are not... It is simply a matter of your thought.. You think hard, you fall to the ground. You feel beaten, you smell the blood... you can smell the dirt, the filth like you would call it... and still you don't fucking realize the concept of reality and all you need to do is just get on with it... You try, and try.. Over and over again but nothing is working out. It's almost as if your brain has stopped responding to you. It is only taking the questions and not giving you the answers. You dig harder and deeper, hoping there will be the answer which will free you from this prison of thoughts. In the end, you come to know "YOU ARE JUST FUCKED UP". You realize you want to pull the plug off your socket, you think a million times of how beautiful your life was… how those moments made you treasure that you stored it in your memories so no one can possibly erase it. But you look at it with shock, disbelief, and a bit of disgust and wonder what the fuck made it change. You curse everyone, you start behaving rudely. You start telling yourself “WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE?” All of this because of one simple thing called “Thought”. Your thought didn’t do any good … it only did BAD. You accepted it and it overcame you. It conquered your mind, locked your heart and made it difficult to breathe. Sometimes, you need to “Let Go” off certain things that you can never get. You keep moving on, don’t hold anything back… It’s such a small term yet makes a large difference.

My First Rock Song

Hello Folks,

I have been listening to a lot of Rock songs (Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, Nickelback, Saliva, Seether etc) and something in me just inspired to write one of my own.

This is probably the first time I am writing a full length Rock song.

Enjoy.. or should I Say "Rock On!!"

This Song is called "WHY"

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Waking up to the morning light,

I see that its not been right

Just wish you could be here to see,

that things may look weird than it seems..

Where do I go from here

Its an answer that I search with fear

But I ask myself why..

Why does it have to be this way,

When we dont mean the things that we say.

I ask myself why... why...

Why do I have to be the one to leave,

When I still have the trust and still believe.

I dont know why... why...

My Life has become complicated,

I know I should have been more contemplated.

Experiences that we used to share,

We always had each other's shoulder to bear.

Slowly I see the light fading away and I close my eyes just to say

Why does it have to be this way,

When we dont mean the things that we say.

I ask myself why... why...

Why do I have to be the one to leave,

When I still have the trust and still believe.

I dont know why... why...

If this is how you want it to be,

Then I guess it shouldn't be a problem with me

As long as you can still smile, with the guilt feeling you have inside

I will walk away without anything to say

But I know what you would be thinking..

Why did it have to be this way,

When we didn't mean the things that we said.

You ask yourself why...You ask yourself why... why...

Why did you have to be the one to leave,

When you still had the trust and still believed.

You dont know why... You dont know why... why...

Why....

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"Peace"

Live Life!!!!

FOREWORD

I have been receiving criticism from some people that my blog promotes pessimism, hatredness and a whole lot of other bad things. I would just like all of you to know, its all work of my mind. Please excuse me for that. Every writer would have his own style in bringing out certain things and I am doing the same. Please continue reading and I expect your comment as I value it a lot because seriously I have no idea who is following my blogs these days and I dont want to write for the sake of blogging. This is another work of fiction,

THE ANTHEM

Life is tough when it goes through the rough

People talk about shit that they are going through,

I know even I do it and its hard for us all to accept the truth.

There are these dirty dozen things that goes through our head,

that you wish you could throw it all away and go to bed.

These things in our minds worries us a lot,

should we be happy with what we have got?

365 days in a year, I waste half of my time living with this fear

I say Its ok,Its alright, I am gonna do it

but my mind keep playing these stupid games

That I have put up with it or leave it to blame

I hate the pain but I still take the fall

hoping to understand whats the worth in it all

I try putting these thoughts to my brain

it gives these disturbing images travelling at the speed of train

Do I listen to my mind or listen to my heart

even the sweet things in life tastes like a tart

I look for motivation with a lot anticipation

trying to get inspired and looking what has transpired

I say its not so easy to live up this life,

but I just got one chance and I am just going to live it.

Take my hand and we will fight this together

Come what may... I want to live forever!!

THE POEM OF HATE

Standing in the middle of the nowhere, it feels like I am alone

There are thousands of people around me, but still the world is empty.

I wait for the moment to come, when time will point its finger at me

Will I find my way or will it be another instance where I have nothing to say?

What is wrong in being different, what is wrong in being unique?

That people look at me as if I am a freak

Why wouldn’t they let me be ME, so that I can be free!!

I hate the indiscretion, I hate the indiscrimination

Sometimes I lose myself to wonder what is wrong with the situation

I go blank and the words won’t come out

That it makes me look like an idiot and then arise this doubt

What am I here for? What is my purpose?

Do I need to live this life to be this worthless?

Does the truth taste this bitter, that it leaves my heart in jitters?

Don’t want to believe the things I see or the stuff I hear?

Things looked so promising in the beginning, I can’t believe that it is already ending.

I ask my maker “WHY ME?” but his silence is an answer that is for me to see.